The other day, lost in thoughts, I had numerous certainties that I was born in the wrong generation. That I possess values ignored by many of the people I interact with today. And so, I live more and more the conflict of feeling even lonelier, even though I'm surrounded by people who trivialize what I do not see as acceptable. Yes, I am also a romantic, and I don't want to see a problem in that. Yes, I miss when the little things were valued, and I have the right to reproduce and believe in what I think is important but is absent in our relationships.

I keep thinking, how crazy it must be, to send a letter to someone today and know that the reply will take time to arrive. And that the reply could come on a postcard with a picture, along with a lipstick mark, exhaling the scent of that perfume that intoxicates when you read it and gives that taste of presence. The truth is that, in that context, we knew the importance of waiting, the effort it takes to cultivate a relationship of friendship or love. We were aware of how hard everything was to achieve, and that’s why there was a greater sense of value. Today, some relationships begin and end, and people only really get to know the emoticons used, the preferred poses in social media photos, the way the person uses ellipses and hardly ever uses commas. But they knew little of the voice, little of the emotions, little of really looking into each other’s eyes.

Today, many times, we catch ourselves measuring the attention the other gives us by how quickly they read and reply to our messages. And just the fact that this message isn’t answered is enough for war to be declared, for the confusion to be set. Because in the urgency we live, we no longer know how to wait. It’s the price we pay for living rushed days in our obligations, with virtual proximity and tremendous real distance.

In my parents' time, in my grandparents' time, relationships really ended. Today, they barely start and often don't end. And just like they started in some random chat conversation in an indifferent way, they end with a nice ignored message on WhatsApp, an unfollow on Twitter, and a thousand subtweets on Facebook. Today, people live the cowardice of ending a relationship via SMS and believe that a story can be so subtly interrupted, with some expressionless characters, with little explanation, without showing the certainty of their decisions. It’s awful to have to end something, but what’s the reason for ending it in such a selfish and impartial way? It’s always been hard to have that talk about “we need to talk.” But I still prefer to look into someone's eyes, express my opinions, my dissatisfactions, hear the truth come out of their mouth, even if I don’t agree, but knowing how to respect it. And I think that is worth so much, but for many, it no longer means anything.

We don’t have the obligation to like someone, but we should have the obligation to respect, to put ourselves in the other’s shoes. But it’s sad how more and more no one respects, how there’s no concern for anything other than themselves. People live with a disrespect here and there and start to think it’s normal and become yet another to propagate something that should be totally unacceptable. We live in a generation full of spoiled people. People who increasingly run away from their responsibilities. Who only want the good side of life but panic when they find themselves in difficulties. People who are great at living for a night, but barely know how to live a month dedicated to someone. People who know exactly what to say to convince someone to live a few moments but don’t know what to do to keep someone truly by their side. They want to live life urgently, with the cliché discourse that one must be happy and unattached, raising the flag that all the pleasures of life must be lived. They think the ends justify the means, even if they have to deceive, use people, fake feelings, pretend to be someone they are not.

Whenever someone is about to do something for someone else, they should ask themselves: If it were me, how would I feel? Would I like it or hate it?

But the truth is that people seem to be getting used to wanting a lot while giving little. They believe everything should be temporary, afraid of endings, of attachments. Afraid of when the laughter ends, when the table is no longer full, when there are no more jokes, no more good moments. And so they live with the other while there is something to gain, something to enjoy. As long as everything is good, as long as living is a good time. A mix of selfishness with a high dose of self-interest. I think this explains the full tables in bars and the empty rooms in hospital visits. This explains those who abandon us when we need them most.

But many, when reading this, may say that in our generation, despite these problems, everything has become easier. That now we don’t call on the phone or cell, but we use free internet calls and video conferences to do the same. But then I ask, how many actually do that? The overwhelming majority is content with words because they are easily manipulated. A lot can be said without worrying about the truth, without worrying about expressions, whether someone is laughing or not. Whether they’re crying or not. Look around. People are together, but they don’t let go of their phones. They are present, but more concerned with taking pictures to show off on social media. They waste time when they should be looking at each other, loving each other, enjoying the moment and the place, trying to find the best angle to photograph and show how special that moment is. But if it were really that special, they wouldn’t even have remembered to take a picture. When something is truly unforgettable, and we are busy enjoying it, we even forget to take many photos, because hearing the other’s voice, being present, kissing, hugging, enjoying is truly the most important.

Before, when we made a call, it cost us something. It was a sacrifice. Receiving a call and hearing that person’s “Hello” was worthy of a declaration of love. It was a proof that the person really missed us, cared, and felt the absence. Before, we knew handwriting, we spent a lot of time writing letters, and flirting was much more fun. There was that moment of observing, of exchanging glances. The other person was truly a mystery to us. We didn’t know their tastes because we hadn’t stalked them on Facebook beforehand. Starting a conversation was a bit intriguing, but it was more exciting because it was in person, without many pretenses. And to meet new people, we had to force ourselves to step out of our comfort zone and face the world. Today, the charm of a true conquest has been lost. Because it has already started to become rare in many cases. In other words, today everything is easily won but also easily discarded. We live in programmed obsolescence among ourselves.

Today, people declare much more of what they want, and because of that, there’s no longer much conversation, just a little willingness from both, enough to do something at that moment. Today, we have apps to get a relationship. We choose people as if they were objects in a store window. We are throwing away our inner values and fighting more and more to improve our exterior, because in such superficial relationships, we don’t have time to show anything else. What matters is always improving beauty, camouflaging age, and cultivating a few preferences and qualities as worn-out as saying you’re a perfectionist in a job interview. And right there, we set up a date, exchange a few words, and what used to take much longer and was more valued is now achieved very quickly and is less appreciated. It doesn’t matter with whom, as long as in the end, we can have the most pleasure. In the end, the night must have been worth it, so we can throw away our tension. It comes, it happens, it goes, and that’s it.

And we continue living as singles, but under the illusion that we are never alone. We settle for little when inside we truly want much more, we want a lot. But we go on with life, accepting crumbs out of fear of loneliness. But maybe what no one has realized is that despite our choices, in the future, beauty will be gone, people will be even more used to discarding, not valuing, only cultivating the superficial. Our destiny will be quite cruel because we will see ourselves as objects that are thrown away and that no one wants anymore. Because what remained in us, which should have been so important, was taught by us to be trivialized. And we will indeed be in complete loneliness. Still single, but we will no longer live the illusion of being alone, we will be definitely abandoned.

And with so much use of technology, we are becoming less real people, living virtual realities. We think that in life, everything must happen almost at the speed of light, at the speed of an email or a WhatsApp message. We speed things up so much, lost in a rush with no reason, when we should begin to relearn to live moments more calmly. Relearn how important it is to value and have others, to have a friendship, a love.

The truth is that love relationships today last less because we are always rushing to live everything we can as soon as possible. And they end because, obviously, everything happens so fast that it loses its charm. And today, we don't try to fix anything. At the first flaw or disappointment, the person goes and calls the next person in line. We no longer make any effort because before we see if it's worth it, we give ourselves completely, recklessly, disregarding our self-respect. And when someone feels entitled to slow down, often the other doesn’t understand and rushes to live other stories that allow them to enjoy what is being denied at that moment. But is that really important? Does it need to be like this? And those who use the pretext of trying to fill the gaps in a relationship, resorting to cheating? Funny how those who cheat often don't want to be cheated on. In other words, they want everything for themselves and nothing for others. And we keep losing ourselves in our desires.

And many continue like this, always justifying the urgencies, everything is an emergency. The urgency is to live. But what is really living? How far do we need to go in this relentless search to only live what is good? And how long will we live without knowing the value of life’s simplicity in the small moments? In the great efforts? When will we realize that life is not only pleasure, not only sex, and life is far from being this colorful world that people post about? When will we realize that we are losing ourselves in our freedoms? When will we learn that technology helps us get closer, but physical proximity cannot be neglected? We must not stop looking into each other’s eyes. We must embrace our evolutions without devaluing what should never have gone out of style.

I hope that people keep realizing that a smile is worth more than a “=D”. That a declaration of love made in person, a hug, some sincere words, are worth more than a “S2” or a “<3”. I hope people don’t replace the lovely sound of the other’s laughter with a fake “hahahaha”. We need to be close virtually, but even closer for a handshake. What we are on the outside is important, but what we have on the inside is far more impressive. Before hurting the other, before using each other, discarding people like objects, we should never forget that inside each one of us beats a heart, that despite being hurt and disbelieved, only waits for the moment when it will truly be loved for who it truly is. That we don’t just want a message that is read and answered, we want to be seen and reciprocated. That we keep living our fast-paced lives, very committed, but knowing how to appreciate the sweet taste of waiting, lived without fear. That we learn to prune the freedoms that can distance us from ourselves. Life was made to be, not to have. May we never lose ourselves in our daydreams, may we never stop being who we truly are. We cannot let ourselves be imprisoned by the reckless freedom of others. We deserve love, we deserve more calm, more respect. We deserve to live more slowly. Those in a hurry can pass by; ahead, we will all be in the same place.